Midnight OceanThey've said the sands feel like silkThey were rightThey've said sea foam feels like God's breathAnd I believe them tonightI've walked into InfinityWhere a zipper-line crosses the skyI am not afraid of the ocean's salty kissI am not afraid to die
Laundry DayMy machines are brokenSo I dried my clothes outsideNow my socks feel like cloudsAnd my shirts smell like the sky
If You Could DecideWouldn’t it be niceIf you could decide what to feel?Someone could knock on your windowAnd save your life by laughing,“Let’s not be sad anymore”You’d wipe your tearsShed your griefRun from your crooked houseChase the starsIn your sun-stained carUntil you can sleepWith herWhen you cryYou actually feel betterWaking up in the morningShe’ll be in your armsAnd you’ll smell her shampooInstead of thinkingAbout the hurt that today is going to bring youWe could all decide“My heart won’t hurt anymore”And the bruises on your rib-cagesWould stop throbbingIf only it were that easy, huh?
ToleranceIn third grade my friend, Kaia gushed to me about cute boysIn our classOn televisionIn Disney cartoonsShe confessed to me in a whisperHer crush on Phoebus in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”I didn’t tell her that my stomach filled with butterfliesWhen Esmeralda dancedI didn’t know what a lesbian wasThat information was kept from meTo shield my innocent eyesOne year when the family was supposed to go to Disney LandOur trip was cancelledBecause the Gay Pride parade was in townAnd my Dad didn’t want to “explain things to me”It would confuse meBut I wish he would’ve known that I was already confusedI thought I was transgenderedBecause only BOYS like GIRLSAnd if my parents had told me that love is universal,My self-loathing and shame would’ve have beenWashed away with a kiss of my mother’s lips on my cheekWhen I was twelve I confessed to my motherWhile she was making dinnerI lied and said I was “bisexual&
GuiltyMy left arm is bruisedMy right arm shakesThere's a pounding in my headMy chin quakesMy eyes are swollen shutSo that I will not see the dayThat God puts down his scepterAnd decides I don't need to pay
Emm (Part 36) Emm found that telling herself to stop and think about the situation from a rational and calm point of view was exceedingly difficult when personal feelings were involved. She’d never had that problem before now and she resented it. Not only that, but fear bordering on paranoia told her that there was no longer a way for her to continue in this investigation if her personal feelings were clouding her judgment. But finally, she stopped; breathed a moment or two; and threw her brain into the middle of the problem at hand. Not as a friend, lover, or even an acquaintance, but as the person she had always thought herself as; an assassin. Beck was very upset at being sent to prison. Was this the understandable tumbling emotions of the criminal being put in their place, or was it the panic of an innocent man? He obviously had it out for Stephan from the beginning; never left his side. Beck kept his beady eyes set on Stephan’s e
Words Are Powerful ThingsYou’re so angryYou let words swarm up inside.Screaming to get out.They yell and shout.They sit there,And fester.Turning into horrid things that should never be even whispered,In the softest tone.You get so angryCause you’re so afraid.Like so many other peopleYou let your fear burst into rage.The monstrous words inside of youRefuse to remain in their cages.You let those words escape your lips,All of the sudden you feel like your words have killed someone.As you see their face.Words are suddenly bullets.They’ve pierced your victim’s heart.Fragments of a once pretty, friendship scatter on the floor.The pieces so broken, I doubt you could find all of the shards to make it whole again.There’s a slamming of a door.Whether that be real,Or just a metaphor.To say you’ve been locked out,Pushed away.From this once dear friend of yours.I hope one day.You’ll find better wordsTo form a key.So you can find your way back to them.
I am LostMy thoughts are orcasTrapped in bathtubs.Macrocosms trappedWithin microcosms -Stuck, glued tight,Melting like Dali's clock,In a cock fightWith my conscience.Sometimes I forgetAll that regretBurning through -A pain so foreverThat I hardly everFeel it anymore.A cut so deep and quickThat it stops -Time is static -Before it bleeds.Eyelashes likeDandelion seedsFluttering in the wind.So much to see.My heart is vacant,My lungs made of leadAnd both are my enemiesBecause I'd rather be dead.But no I wouldn't.Not anymore.I'm fake, made of a paper -A corporate rock whore -And I don't knowWhat I stand for.But maybe I don't have toStand for anything -A word without a definitionStill leaves a markOn pure paper.A meaningless sparkCan still become a fire.A tickle of loveCan still become desire.
untitledthere are a thousandunwritten love letters in your eyesnow I keep thinking aboutgravityand the color greenall I know is thatmy skull's beenovertaken mapped cleanwith inkwarriors traversing well worn pathsboots leaving tracks acrosschests and necksand it's comfortablethis sinkingit's not like drowningmore like slowly loweringinto hot bathwaterand we are just skin and cosmosbodies and wordsour tongues landlockedwe are adrift inour own little seawe've plucked our wingsand now we can't flytell me the truththat the sky's overratedI'd rather be with youon the groundor buried beneath itskeletons entwined truthfullyI've always thought heaven was a pretty sort of liebut I've read a book or twoabout heavenor people's idea of itat leastand I disagree with myselfpopping thought balloonson the idea that heavenis in the way your eyes fold origami swans when you smilethat shitty laughthat hollow above your heartlike your chest's caving i
Happy Songs on the RadioI don't write about happy things.I don't listen to songs about romance.I can't feel what the artist is singing so passionately about.The longing to know what it's like makes me want to scream and shout.The way people write and lace words together,About how happy and perfect they see the world.Has always been a stranger to me.I wish I could see,The way you did.I really do.I wish I could feel the same way as you.To be able to hear the lyrics,'I love you'And picture someone to match those three words.I wish I could hear these songs,About how everything is perfect.Absolutely nothing is wrong.But I can't.I hear those songs and I feel empty.Because I can't feel what they're saying.And I keep listening,But I am just wasting my timeTrying but failing to relate.When I hear the songs on the radio.They make me squirm in my seat.I feel happy but sad.Something so bitter sweet.Because part of me feels so happy for the person.Who sings so happily.But another, darker half.
I Am Only a MarionetteI am only a marionetteDancing on a stringForced to entertain the massesFor joy I'm meant to bring.I am only a puppet,A plaything to be shown.I can't escape the mass's willOr make decisions of my own.I am just an instrumentForced to bend to standards.I cannot rise and free myselfAgainst society's banners.I am only a marionette,Made for other's sake,Made to do as others wishUntil the day I break.
When the Sun RisesI miss the way you used to be.I miss the way you'd smile at me.How the joy would make the corners of your eyes crinkle.You'd laugh softly.Shaking your head,I miss that.How real it sounded.I listened to you now,And that old little light melody of laughter is no where to be found.You still laughYou joke.But your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes.I don't think I've ever met someone with such sad,Solemn eyes.As you look upon yourselfAnd you can't help but despise what you see.You used to walk,With your head held high.You don't anymoreYou keep them glued to the floor.Scared to acknowledge your train wreck of a lifeThat lays before you.I still think you're beautiful though.Even if you're growing faintLike a sunset,Falling into the darkness of the night.With each slowly fading ray of light.You're still perfect, and make people stop and stare in awe.But just like the sun sets.And you get pulled under into the dark of the night.When all of your light is goneYou'
Past and PresentThe small me sits and criesChanting, "It will be okay"I walk up to the past me,Remembering this exact momentThe small me looks up and recognizes meAnd my face as her own"It's not going to be okay, is it?"I shake my head"No."