Midnight OceanThey've said the sands feel like silkThey were rightThey've said sea foam feels like God's breathAnd I believe them tonightI've walked into InfinityWhere a zipper-line crosses the skyI am not afraid of the ocean's salty kissI am not afraid to die
Laundry DayMy machines are brokenSo I dried my clothes outsideNow my socks feel like cloudsAnd my shirts smell like the sky
If You Could DecideWouldn’t it be niceIf you could decide what to feel?Someone could knock on your windowAnd save your life by laughing,“Let’s not be sad anymore”You’d wipe your tearsShed your griefRun from your crooked houseChase the starsIn your sun-stained carUntil you can sleepWith herWhen you cryYou actually feel betterWaking up in the morningShe’ll be in your armsAnd you’ll smell her shampooInstead of thinkingAbout the hurt that today is going to bring youWe could all decide“My heart won’t hurt anymore”And the bruises on your rib-cagesWould stop throbbingIf only it were that easy, huh?
ToleranceIn third grade my friend, Kaia gushed to me about cute boysIn our classOn televisionIn Disney cartoonsShe confessed to me in a whisperHer crush on Phoebus in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”I didn’t tell her that my stomach filled with butterfliesWhen Esmeralda dancedI didn’t know what a lesbian wasThat information was kept from meTo shield my innocent eyesOne year when the family was supposed to go to Disney LandOur trip was cancelledBecause the Gay Pride parade was in townAnd my Dad didn’t want to “explain things to me”It would confuse meBut I wish he would’ve known that I was already confusedI thought I was transgenderedBecause only BOYS like GIRLSAnd if my parents had told me that love is universal,My self-loathing and shame would’ve have beenWashed away with a kiss of my mother’s lips on my cheekWhen I was twelve I confessed to my motherWhile she was making dinnerI lied and said I was “bisexual&
GuiltyMy left arm is bruisedMy right arm shakesThere's a pounding in my headMy chin quakesMy eyes are swollen shutSo that I will not see the dayThat God puts down his scepterAnd decides I don't need to pay
Emm (Part 36) Emm found that telling herself to stop and think about the situation from a rational and calm point of view was exceedingly difficult when personal feelings were involved. She’d never had that problem before now and she resented it. Not only that, but fear bordering on paranoia told her that there was no longer a way for her to continue in this investigation if her personal feelings were clouding her judgment. But finally, she stopped; breathed a moment or two; and threw her brain into the middle of the problem at hand. Not as a friend, lover, or even an acquaintance, but as the person she had always thought herself as; an assassin. Beck was very upset at being sent to prison. Was this the understandable tumbling emotions of the criminal being put in their place, or was it the panic of an innocent man? He obviously had it out for Stephan from the beginning; never left his side. Beck kept his beady eyes set on Stephan’s e
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,Be it my pride or dignity.You may throw insults at me,And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.You may belittle me, as much as you want,If only to make your meager life worth living.---But even if you do all that...---No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place..."Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-believing shecould only hurtanyone who gottoo close,forgetting thatinside,she held whatpeople neededmost.
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,And yet you lie awake.Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,And genuinely fear for your safety?Now, if you were me that you had asked my dear,I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
collisionsi.it is dark, unfamiliar,but your fingers seek out his,and you know thenthat you are at homein his harmonyeven if justfor now.ii.hold him;he's incendiary, sure.a veritable (volatile)molotov cocktail ofnot-okaywatch as he emerges,ashen-limbed from a cocoon of youto entwine with the threadsthat hold you sane.iii.smoldering indolentcoal-flicker eyelidswant nothing more thanto hiss and steam;than to coolin your stillnessiv.redolent of broken-record risk-taking chances untilthere's nothing leftbut scratches and glitches in the wordworki mean woodwork,i mean, skin.but oh god, he loves youjust like this,like that,this way.v.this is a choice:you may destroy him,extinguish his flamesand half-bury him inthe ashy remnantsof his own conflagration but it's an impotent powerthat is granted, not taken.
i'd haunt you if you'd like.my hands are paralyzed and you're waiting for me to touch your face,but that doesn't really matter because i'd rather touch your souland if you close your eyes long enough i'll read you poetry as we lay atop the monkeybarsin this old and rusted parkyou can pretend to know the constellations and point them out to me and i'll tell you they're all beautiful, but nothing compared to youif i'm lucky you'll blush and laugh at me,tell me i say the dumbest things but deep down it'll register in your soul just how much i love youand i know they say you can only save yourself, but darling i swear if you'll just have the slightest bit of faith i'll save the fuck out of you or i'll destroy myself trying,because i honestly can't think of any other purpose for my lifeor what smidge of it i've been able to hold on to.
Hopeful HeartThe sky is pitch blackAnd so is my heartAfter all the painI went throughAfter all the effortFor a lost causeSo I look upLooking for a starA ray of lightTo guide me awayAway from this darkness inside my heart
Past and PresentThe small me sits and criesChanting, "It will be okay"I walk up to the past me,Remembering this exact momentThe small me looks up and recognizes meAnd my face as her own"It's not going to be okay, is it?"I shake my head"No."